his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
