Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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