just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize