she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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