dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
