hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
