I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
