doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
