Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
