Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
