Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
