Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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