I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize