Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
