So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
