sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
