I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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