doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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