Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
