A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
