Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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