i just google imaged poop.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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