how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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