haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
