Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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