You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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