Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
