Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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