I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
