so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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