We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
