Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize