Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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