i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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