This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
