i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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