Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
