I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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