But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
