How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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