Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
