You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
