Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
