i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
