I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
