Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
