I hate all girls vehemently.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
