Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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