Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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