you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
