You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
