Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
