you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
