Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
