spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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