Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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