Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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