Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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