The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Terrible idea I love it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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