I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize