The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
