she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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