they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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