Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
