Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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