remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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