Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
