Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Randomize
